I have a really bad haircut right now. I’ve had it for a while, actually, and it’s taken me a while to come to terms with this fact.
I’ve never really set all that much store in my hair. I mean, I get it cut and even colored regularly. Always have. But I’ve also had a sort of laissez-faire attitude about it even within that framework. I change haircolor often. I go from long to short to long regularly. If it doesn’t work out? Hey, it’s only hair. It’ll grow back, right?
But I also know I’m a bit of an outlier in this regard. At least, I think I am. Many, many women I know place a great deal of their personal pride and value in their hair. “My hair is where my power is,” my sister says. And she’s only about 15% joking. When I’ve got to various salons, and asked them to cut my shoulder-length hair short above my ears, or to dye my blonde hair dark brown, the stylists will invariably blanch and ask “Are you sure?” I’ve even … and this still floors me … had both stylists and neighbors ask me “Is your husband ok with this?” One neighbor, seeing me with a new short “do” after it had been long-ish said “You are so brave. My husband would never let me do that.”
(My mom’s response on hearing that one: “Then it’s time to get a new husband.” You think she’s joking, but my mom’s been through four husbands.)
In certain cultures, women wear headscarves to keep their hair covered lest they incite untoward passion from men. The Macmillan Dictionary online says:
crowning glory
1: the most impressive and important part of something
2: (humorous) your hair
They say “humorous” but have you ever watched “America’s Next Top Model”? Usually in the first or second episode of a given season they’ll give the models “makeovers”, where host Tyra Banks dictates what kind of look she’s like to see them sporting. Invariably, there’s a model with very long tresses who has to get them completely chopped off. And, invariably, they sob. I even know women who tell me they got their hair cut “short”, and when they show up it’s still touching their shoulders. “I thought you said you got it cut short!” I’ll say. “I did! They cut four inches off!” (Most extreme example … a classmate of mine with hair down to her knees came back from a holiday break having had 18 inches cut off. Nobody noticed. It was still down to her hips. She was so upset! This had seemed like a huge deal to her, how could people have missed it?)
So what’s my point? I don’t know. I have a bad haircut and I’m going back next week to the salon where I know they’re really good at cutting hair and then I’ll have a cute haircut and that’ll be that. But tell me about your relationship to your hair. Explain to me the thinking behind some of the ladies I’ve mentioned. It’s a curiosity to me. Awaiting your comments.
{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
I liked my hair better when it was sort but this is a more professional look for me. Maybe. i think.
I think your hair always looks cute, Margit!
PS – my favorite hairdo/color of yours is the one in your banner. I think that brown suits you so well
Thanks. I like it, too. Only problem is … the gray shows up much clearer than when I’m blonde!
My hair is like my life. At times it makes me want to throw up my hands and scream. Other days i just enjoy every minute of it.
Oooh, I LOVE that analogy, Michelle! Well said.
I never get it colored because I’m afraid of the chemicals, so I spend entirely too much time about once a week pulling out new grays…lol. I did cut my own bangs last week (and they totally look like it)…I just didn’t have time to go get them cut and they were bugging me. It hasn’t prevented me from going out and seeing people when I need to…I’m pretty sure I would never make it on top model!
Sounds painful, Norma! You realize the end result of this plan is either a) the gray wins or b) you’re bald, right?
LOL…well, I hadn’t thought of it that way, Leslie. I supposed at some point, I’ll have to give into the chemicals…I’m not ready for gray yet (even if I am not so vain that I care that my bangs look as thought my 4-year-old cut them…I have to draw the line somewhere…)
Yep. I am one of those people who’s pride/confidence comes from how my hair looks. Every time I don’t like what I see in the mirror (I’m too fat, too out of shape, too in-between sizes, got acne, too pale, too sun-burned, too not-perfect whatever), I say, “At least my hair looks good.” I figure each of us deserves to have something that allows us to forgive all the other stuff. For me, it is my hair. For someone else, it might be their sense of style, or their nose, or their eyes, or their fabulous butt. Pride is important (Freud and Jung would call it the ego). It helps us move with confidence through the world. Having a touchstone makes it a little bit easier.
If hair isn’t your thing, what is?
Wow, Christina, that’s a good question. I’ve been thinking about it since you posted this and the best I could come up with is my mind and my personality. I think those are the “at least I’ve got ______” that serve as my touchstones.
Those are excellent touchstones. I love smart, fun people.
Christina, I want to thank you. You’ve put a thing that always sort of baffled/amused me into a much more compassionate context. Well done, you.
Leslie, I’ve usually had a hate/hate relationship with my hair. Hate the color (mousey, non-descript), the texture (fine), the stick straightness, the weird little cowlick at my hairline behind my right ear… shall I go on?
So I’ve highlighted, permed, colored, shortened, gone longer, all in search of the “right” look. And of course, my husband likes it long, the very length I think I look my worst. I’ve gotten to the point where I a) don’t really care what my husband thinks and b) have decided to work with what God gave me, rather than against it. My sparkling personality and semi-quick wit are going to have to do the heavy lifting.
“My sparkling personality and semi-quick wit are going to have to do the heavy lifting.”
^ This.