A devastating storm struck the midwest here in the USA yesterday, and destroyed entire neighborhoods in the state of Oklahoma.  As of this writing at least 24 people are confirmed dead.

This is where ShelterBox comes in.  They bring shelter, warmth, and other non-food necessities to people in disaster-stricken areas around the world. A typical shelterbox contains a tent, blankets, ground cover, a cookstove, tools, and more.

As I’ve mentioned before, I am a ShelterBox ambassador. And it’s times like this when I am extra-proud to be a part of this wonderful and important organization.

Please consider making a donation to ShelterBox in honor of the stricken communities in Oklahoma. One of the cool things that ShelterBox does is they track your donation to an actual box, so you will get to see where yours ends up.  Shelterboxes can take weeks to assemble, so your donation today will be used to make materials ready and available for a disaster that strikes down the road.

I’m the “Peeling Mom Off the Ceiling” lady, right? So my ShelterBox donation page is called “Ceilings for Healing”, because how can you peel mom off the ceiling when she no longer has one?

You can click on any of the photos in this post to be taken to the donation page. Thank you.

Leslie, you are such a charming and sophisticated woman. How can I be more like you today?

Dear Reader, I am flattered. You are too kind. I have attached some simple instructions in how to have an up-to-the-minute Leslie Irish Evans experience.

Step 1: Take your dog outside. Let her off her leash even though you know damn well that she’s old and deaf and can’t be trusted to follow your commands anymore.

Step 2: Watch as dog once again meanders into neighbor’s yard, a place she’s lately become obsessed with.

Step 3: Get dog back and bring her into house.

Step 4: Wonder what smells like chicken shit.

Step 5: Begin to examine dog to see what she rolled in.

Step 6: After dog’s entire body proves clean, hold her face and look into her eyes. Ask her: “Why do you smell like chicken shit?”

Step 7: [This is the dog's part. It's her only part, but it's crucial.] Lick Leslie in the dead center of her face.

Step 8: Reel backwards, groaning and swatting at your nose, realizing that a tiny portion of the bag on your neighbor’s porch that reads “chicken manure” is now embedded in your right nostril.

Step 9: Consider becoming a cat person.

MamaCon is in 9 days! I’m MC’ing the events, and I’m super excited to be doing so. Got your tickets? If not, you’re in luck. Read below for a great offer from the MamaCon founders (be sure to follow the directions carefully):

An amazing mom who attended last year’s MamaCon believes so strongly in what the event can do for moms like you that she wants to make it possible for more moms to come this year. Wahoo!

This awesome anonymous mom is making it possible for 25 other moms to attend for FREE. Be one of the first 25 to use the code BOGO24 when you register this Friday and you can bring a friend for FREE! (If you think MamaCon is fun on your own, just wait til you come with a friend.)

Here’s how to make it happen:

1) Find your buddy – post on Facebook or send an email telling your friends the first to get back to you can join you at MamaCon for FREE! (You can, of course, split the cost of one ticket making this a super duper affordable day of relaxing and refueling. Just a thought!)

2) Deal with your kids – enlist your baby daddy, significant sidekick, mom, neighbor, whoever to wrangle the kids for a day. Arrange an “extendo-playdate” and promise to return the favor – you’ll be so re-energized after MamaCon that you’ll be up for hosting multiple playdates!

3) Register for MamaCon this FRIDAY, May 10 starting at 5:00 AM for 24 hours only!

1) Register yourself. Use code BOGO24 and put your buddy’s name in the “How did you hear about us” section.
2) Register your buddy. Use code BOGO24 and put your name in the “How did you hear about us” section.
3) You must pay for each ticket via PayPal or credit card or it won’t work!
4) Your buddy’s name must be on your registration form or both tickets will be rejected.

There’s a limited amount and time so act fast! Mark your calendar and be ready to register at 5:00 AM on Friday.

Love,

Amy & Kim

PS If you join us at MamaCon and you have a horrible experience, we will give you your money back. Seriously.

Pretty great, huh? I hope you are one of the lucky 25 and I hope to see you there!

But we already knew that, right? Applied to the nearest handy cloth-type device and applied to human skin, it can remove even the most awful stains. Applied ever so lightly with the lips it can heal all boo-boos. Turns out science is backing this up. Check out this blog post from Stacie Lewis:

Clean Your Baby’s Pacifier with Your Mouth

I love it. It’s becoming more and more obvious that this whole antibacterial/triclosan/keep-everything-germ-free life is making us MORE prone to illness, not less. Your immune system needs exposure to germs and bacteria so it can learn to recognize and fight them as needed.

My kids are in college, so I can’t exactly clean their pacifiers with my mouth anymore.

I know: I’ll go to their apartments and lick their plates and glasses. Each and every one. Because I care.

I bought it on Amazon. Free shipping with my Prime membership. NICE! It’s very easy to put together, I was able to do almost all of it by myself, but it’s VERY HEAVY, so you’ll probably need a second pair of hands for the last step (putting the desktop onto the posts).  Here’s a link to it below, in case you’re ready to take the plunge.  As far as treadmill desks go, it’s very affordable (there are much more expensive ones on the market).

I’d love to know your thoughts on this. Questions? Comments? Post ‘em below.

For more info on the teleseminar: JuicyJumpStart.eventbrite.com

To sign up as an affiliate for this event: bit.ly/jjfriends

“There are three things the human race has to do to survive: eat, breathe, and have sex. Aren’t you glad they picked the one they did to do in private?” – Leslie’s mom.

I’m proud and excited to be the Mama of Ceremonies for this year’s MamaCon. 

Being a great mom requires so many different skills which are often learned “on the job” of parenting. What if there was a place to go for some professional development for moms? Now there is! Seattle-based parenting experts Amy Lang, founder of Birds + Bees + Kids, and Kim Estes, founder of Savvy Parents Safe Kids, created MamaCon, a conference just for moms!

MamaCon is a parenting conference, a women’s conference, a girlfriend getaway and a chance for moms to relax, learn and laugh. Held Saturday, May 18 in Bellevue, WA, you don’t want to miss this chance for timeout from your juggling act. Visit www.MamaCon.net for tickets and information.

I’m feeling proud of and happy for my friend Nicole Knepper, creator of Moms Who Drink and Swear, whose eponymous¹ book just came out today, and I’ve got it in my hot little hands. 

If you don’t know Nikki’s story, she started a Facebook group called “Moms Who Drink and Swear” where she could vent and commiserate with other moms about the challenges of motherhood. The page took off and now she’s got over a quarter of a million dedicated followers.

Here’s the thing I know and love about Nikki: You don’t have to scratch very deep through the drinkin’ and cussin’ facade to find a warm, loving, super-intelligent and fiercely passionate woman who loves her family and cares deeply about the human condition.

Go buy her book. Buy two. Give one to another mom who could use a laugh.  You won’t regret it.² 

^{1 You like that? Eponymous. It means “of, relating to, or being the person or thing for whom or which something is named” and the only reason I know this word is because it was used quite often in the catalog for my Columbia House Record Club subscription.}

² Unless you’re a delicate hothouse flower who can’t handle swear words in which case fuck off.

My Poor Husband

SCENE: After lunch, on the elevator in our hotel in Hawaii.

ME: Did you know you can vomit feces?

HIM: [look of stunned horror]

ME:  You can. It’s a thing.

HIM: WHY DID YOU TELL ME THAT?

ME:  [slightly abashed, I mime a shooting star arcing in front of me] The More You Know?

HIM: NO!

We’re now entering our room.

ME: That doesn’t fascinate you?

HIM: NO!

ME: I guess that’s the difference between you and me.

HIM: Clouds. Clouds are fascinating. This is not fascinating.

ME: It’s a very serious condition, you know.

HIM: OF COURSE IT’S A VERY SERIOUS CONDITION!

ME: I’m just saying. If it happens, you should call a doctor. Right away.

HIM: [Walks into bedroom and shuts the door.]